Azkaban: Inside and Out
by Aliyah95
Summary: How Sirius escaped from Azkaban. Sorry, I'm not very good at summaries. Just read it!


_He's gone...he's gone..._ The same words jab at my insides, tearing me apart. _It's all your fault..._ No!, I argue back. It wasn't my fault. Pettigrew betrayed them, not me! _You told Lily and James to make him their secret keeper. You sentenced them to death then and there! _

_0o0o0o0 _

People say that when you lose someone, you feel hollow inside. That isn't true. Not for me anyway. The happiness I felt around James has disappeared, but that space isn't empty. It has been filled with despair, anger, hopelessness, regret...

I have lost everything. My best friend is dead and I'm to blame. If only I had realized the truth about Pettigrew sooner! I'm serving a prison sentence that should be his. The guards aren't even human. They don't have souls; they can take yours though... I suppose I deserve this. Switching secret keepers _had _been my idea...

The night Lily and James died was supposed to be a night for celebration. Their son defeated Voldemort. My godson, Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived... I'm a terrible godfather. If it wasn't for Pettigrew and I, Harry could have grown up with parents! But no, Prongs was killed by two of his best friends.

Everyone here goes mad sooner or later. It's the dementors that do it, along with living in captivity. For some reason, the dementors don't affect me. I wish they did. I want to forget. I want out.

_0o0o0o0_

The days that pass by are long, drawn out, and monotonous. The nights are terrible. All of us sleep on pieces of cloth on the cold, hard ground. My piece looks like it was a towel in another life.

Nights are when most of the screaming occurs. You can hear them all, their cries echoing through the darkness. I recognize some of the voices. They belong to my classmates turned Death Eaters. They remind me of the pranks James and I used to play on them, but the memories are bittersweet. Remembering James is still painful. If only those Slytherins could see the Marauders now...

Sometimes, when it all overwhelms me, I turn into my dog form. A dog's emotions are simple. The dementors can't sense animals. My fur kept me much warmer than my thin prison-outfit ever did. My animagus form has become my refuge, though it only muffles the pain. The pain will never entirely go away. Too much has happened...

_0o0o0o0_

Winter is the worst time of year here. Winds blow in through the open windows of many of the prison cells. Most people lost the will to live years ago. They decide that dying would be easier to face than dementors. After refusing food and water and freezing themselves, death finally overcomes their frail bodies.

I spend most of my days as a dog now. My shaggy coat usually keeps me warm enough, though sometimes I'll have to curl up into a ball to retain body heat. The only times I change back into a human are when the ministry officials come to inspect the place or when the dementors come with food. Since dementors can't sense dogs, they wouldn't leave food outside my cell, and anyone can see that I need all the food I can get.

_0o0o0o0_

The ministry officials are here again to make sure that Azkaban is still inescapable. Fudge came out with them this time. Apparently, there's a new law that the minister must personally help inspect. He doesn't seem to like the change of rules. We disgust him, probably even scare him. I suppose it's understandable. Before I was framed, I would have been repulsed by many of the people locked up here. Fudge averts his eyes from us, the filth of the wizarding world. He looks through his _Daily Prophet_ instead.

I've been trying to make sure I stay sane. Despite what I thought so many years ago, I can't give up my soul, not when only Pettigrew and I know the truth. Knowing I'm innocent helps, but I don't want to take chances. I've heard that puzzles help keep your mind flexible and help retain memory. On a whim, I ask Fudge if he's finished with his Daily Prophet. The crossword would help, right?

Fudge looks shocked. I suppose it was an unspoken rule that prisoners weren't to speak to important people.

"W-Why?", he stutters.

"I've missed doing the crossword.", I lie, trying to sound merely bored. I must sound relatively sane because he slid it between the bars of my cell. I thank him and he walks away, occasionally looking back at me with a curious expression.

I turn the paper over to the front cover. There's a picture of a family of nine waving madly. I look at the heading of the article:

MINISTRY OF MAGIC EMPLOYEE SCOOPS GRAND PRIZE.

Looking at the picture, I can tell that they need it. One of them has a rat for a pet, poor kid. They must not be able to afford anything better... The rat's even missing a toe.

I finally put two and two together. Pettigrew! I read the rest of the article. He'll be at Hogwarts! My life has a goal again. I _will_ find Pettigrew. I _will_ avenge Lily and James' deaths.

If I could just escape Azkaban, that would be the hard part. The rest would be simple. But escaping Azkaban is a miracle in itself. It's never been done; it may never be accomplished, but I have to try.

_0o0o0o0_

For days, all I could think was, _He's at Hogwarts. He's at Hogwarts_. I've spent hours planning possible ways to escape. It seems impossible. The windows are barred and dementors swarm around my cell day and night. I am one of the top security prisoners. Even if I manage to get out, Azkaban is entirely surrounded by water.

I look around my empty cell. Apart from that afore-mentioned piece of cloth in the corner (my "bed") and the newspaper, I'm the only thing in the room. I look at myself. I'm much thinner than I used to be. Has my animagus form changed with my human appearance? Yes, but am I skinny enough to slip through the bars as a dog? If I am, it would help my chances of escape a lot. I stick my head through easily. The hallway is deserted. Now for the rest of my body. I squeeze through, but then hear footsteps. Are the inspectors back _again_? I quickly return to my cell and assume my human form in the nick of time. The minister is back. I listen in on his worried conversation.

"In his sleep? What was he saying?", Fudge's voice asks anxiously. "At Hogwarts? You don't think he's after the boy do you?"

He and a dementor pass by my cell. Fudge stares intently at me as he goes. I hear him mutter, "Just when I thought he was sane for a mad-man..."

This interruption makes me momentarily forget what I have learned. I can fit through the bars! Now, how can I find my way out? When I was carted in to Azkaban all those years ago, there were so many twists and turns between the main doors and my cell. I suppose I'll have to leave the navigation to my animal instincts. What about the water? I'll just have to swim to shore. At least the water will be warm, since it's summer. I look again at the newspaper; it's dated mid-July. I suddenly remember, Harry's birthday is coming up.

My only question now is when to escape. It will have to be at night, when everyone is asleep. Their moans and whispers will hide the sound of my claws clicking on the stone floor.

After hours of waiting, night falls. A dementor arrives with my dinner. I'm ready when it comes. As soon as it opens the door, I transform into a dog, grab the drumstick it brought me, and bolt for freedom. The whole prison was like a maze, but I knew the dementors were greatest near the exit, so if I followed the coldness, I could find my way out. I see the opening and whiz past the dementors, into the warmth of the outdoors. It's the warmest I've felt in over a decade. I devour the drumstick and jump into the water.

I've swum now for what's felt like two hours, though there's no way of telling. A full moon is giving me enough light to make sure I'm heading in the right direction. With a pang, I remember Remus. He always hated the full moon. With his "furry little problem", you can't blame him. I wonder if he thinks I murdered all those people, killed Lily and James. As I climb up onto a pier, exhausted and aching, I make a mental note to, if I get the chance, make sure Remus knows the truth.


End file.
